Thank you

Last year was one of great turmoil for me. Because of a CSF Leak, I gradually slipped into an expanse of unknowing. Much of my day was spent lying flat on my back, drifting between this world and the next. As the months passed, I worked hard to manage basic tasks. Once my brain settled into the cervical area of my skull, though, I lost balance and some movement in my arms; I could not think clearly and could not remember from one moment to the next. It was then that fear became part of my life.

I’m relieved to explain that I had neurosurgery mid-December, and I’m steadily recovering. Physical therapy is helping me regain movement, and slowly I’m thinking more clearly, which brings me to the purpose of this post.

Throughout this entire experience, there was one recurrent feeling.  Gratitude. I was often brought to tears because a friend or stranger simply offered kindness. A smile perhaps, an embrace, maybe just a hello, a thread of thoughtfulness and I would be overwhelmed. That is when I discovered that when all is taken, there are only miracles that remain, miracles that might not be visible if it weren’t for our suffering.

The CSF leak brought me to a place of profound vulnerability. There was little I could give to another because there was so little that I could call my own. And yet, through it all, I found deep compassion – for the infirmed, for the disabled, for the sorrowful, for all who are suffering. This compassion dominates my life now.

I am so grateful to be alive. Many of you accompanied me with your kind words. I’m ever so grateful to Mary Adler, for her encouragement and genuine care. I’m indebted to Jan Sikes for her understanding and support. I’m brought to tears with Suzanne Burke’s kind words and D.L. Finn’s loving support and prayers. Apart from my family and wonderful husband, though, there is no one who helped more during this lengthy ordeal than John W. Howell. He knows only too well my limitations and dwindling abilities. I tried his patience and our pen-pal friendship many times over. 

To each of you within the Rave Reviews Book Club and to so many others, all that I can say is Thank You. Thank you, from my heart, from a place that knows only love, THANK YOU. Thank you for accompanying me. You have become family and from you, I have learned so much. 

15 thoughts on “Thank you”

  1. The gratitude I feel when I read this and think about your recovery. We are lucky to have you in our lives. You make this world a much better place to be in.Gwen.

  2. Oh, dear Gwen, you are family and that’s what family does. I know if I had been in a dire situation, you would have been there encouraging me. Your kind gentle spirit inspires me to be a better person. I am SO thankful you are recovering and that you’re still with us. As Denise said, you make this world a much better place to be in! Hugs, Light and Love!

  3. Wonderful explanation of what you have been through. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Continued prayers coming your way for complete healing.

    1. Thank you, dear Julie. Your friendship and prayers provided light in the darkest hours and hope when I had little. Blessings dear friend. ♥

  4. Gwen, I had absolutely no idea what you were going through. I am so grateful you had the support of family and friends and are recovering. Sending you prayers and wishes for continued health. The online community is one of caring and giving, and you are certainly in the hearts and prayers of many.

  5. So sorry you have been through so much Gwen and pleased your health is improving. You give so much despite what you are going through . Many blessings to you and may this year see you fully recover. xx

  6. Hello, Gwen. I had no idea this was going on. I’m so sorry you had to go through so much. I’m still recovering myself and just trying to catch up with everything online. I’m glad to know you’re recovering little by little. Stay strong, we need people like you in this world. <3 xo

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